No one

A lot of people come to me with their problems. A lot of people get advice from me by the time we are done talking. A lot of people feel better after talking to me about what is going on with them and their lives. What a lot of people don't know is that I don't tell them my problems. Especially when they are telling me theirs. I think it is rude to interject my problems onto them when they are telling me their woes. 

I have been especially emotional these past few months. It was one thing after another after another. And when I would talk to someone, they would feel the need to tell me what is going on with them. Shutting me out, leaving me feeling like my woes are not significant enough for them to listen to. I have a tendency to feel what the other person is going through when they talk to me. I don't remember how long I've been like this, but it makes me feel like my problems don't mean as much to the person I am talking to. 

This past month, I haven't been able to talk to my friends or family about what I am going through and why I feel like I am in this deep, deep hole, and I can't get a grip to get out yet. I know I will. I always do. I know the only time I won't be able to get myself out is when I am no longer here. I try so hard to be the best I can be with what I can provide for myself. But with the emergency surgery and all the illness that has come with it, I am struggling to provide even the basic necessities for myself. Let alone for others.

Just once I would love for someone to give to me, what I have given to them, someone to just listen, and if they can offer any advice without interjecting their own problems, that would be the icing on the cake for me. But if all you can do is listen, then please. Just listen. Let me know that I have someone to turn to without having to turn off my feelings to help you. I just can't do it anymore.