And Im done....

I've decided. I can't wait around for anyone to do what I want them to do. All I can do is live my life the way I have been, sober and alone, and hope that someday it will have all paid off. I've learned the hard way, too many damn times to count, that trying to make something happen will only force it in the other direction. I can't b pushing something away I want. I'll just have to turn and walk away. Possibly from one of the best thing to happen to me. But that's what I feel I have to do right now. I'm too old to be doing what I've been doing. I need to focus on my career and the many options I have in front of me. Don't get me wrong. I would love to go home to someone that I love and talk about my day and what pleased me and irritated me throughout the day. But I haven't found someone who wants what I want. Sad but true. I can't be hurt by my actions anymore. I don't think I can take the pain again. A person can only withstand so much. Then they crumble